I could wax-poetic about it all. I could go into detail about who did what, who’s right, who’s wrong. Or I could just move the fuck on.
Just to get you up to speed, here’s a timeline of the first 5 days after my marriage ended.
Thursday – D Day. Cry uncontrollably
Friday – Go to the doctor for some kind of emotion numbing chemical which will allow me not to feel anything. Apparently the 50’s are over. Prescribes sleeping pills that can not be taken with alcohol…like a jerk. Continue crying.
Saturday – Cry uncontrollably in the morning. In the afternoon, neighbours make offer of wine and hospitality. Drink too much. Take a pill for the first time in 10 years to stop myself from feeling. Pill does nothing. Skate around neighbours living room.
Sunday – Call Future-ex-husband for absolutely no reason besides missing him. Discuss logistics of separation. Cry uncontrollably. Review entire five years of Facebook relationship history. Future-ex-husband arrives to pick up his stuff. Cue two hours of mutual crying. Watch as he get in his car and drives away. He doesn’t look back once.
Monday – Movers come to collect the bed we slept in together and take it back to the store. I was clearly never going to sleep in it again. I have a scheduled counselling session over the phone. She tries to convince me to see things from his perspective, and that he probably feels worse than I do. Also wonders if I made an impulse decision and tries to reassure me that we can work things out. Schedule another session for the following Monday. Future-Ex-Husband texts to see how I am and if I’d like to chat “about how I’m feeling if that would help at all”. Send passive aggressive reply about how my world is shattered and I will never be happy again. It doesn’t help. Proceed to get drunk and stoned. It helps.
Ok so clearly I’m making GREAT lifestyle choices at the moment. Stay tuned though, I promise it gets better.
Baddie x
rock'n'roll mermaid 